Memoirs of a Bicyclist

I have a new-found respect for an delivery boys or messengers that use bicycles in New York City. I hate it when people bitch about blue collar workers and how long they take to do something, because it’s obvious that the complainer has never done the same job as a source of income. I will never understand why people bitch about construction and how long it takes. If your cleaning service spills bleach on your polo shirt, tell your father to reserve some of the $2000 birthday dinner money for new polo shirts since you’re too important to put them in a washer yourself. 

I’ve driven a car twice in my life – when I was 10 and then when I was 15. I was in the vicinities of gated communities both times and did not drive above about 15-20mph. I never merged on highways, I never let cars pass before me, I never braked for a red light or a right turn. My life was always in somebody’s hands while I was on the road. 

So what in the HELL was I doing in the middle of 3rd Ave and 57th street on my bicycle? I wasn’t scared, but it was just very bizarre because I was never in control in that type of situation. I kept thinking, “I’m going to die tonight, aren’t I” for literally 40 blocks. Later two cars almost hit me at the same time on 2nd Ave and 27th street. 

I wasn’t scared, I didn’t see my life flash before my eyes – I just started screaming because I didn’t know what else to do. 

I really hate some pedestrians. I may have only driven twice, but my first memory is on a tricycle when I was 2 years old. I was riding a “two-wheeler” almost daily since I was 5 up until age 14. A bicyclist will not be physically able to suddenly brake for you without flying off the bike. The back wheel brake will never stop fast enough for that reason no matter how hard I press it, and there is no way in hell I’m using my front wheel brake so suddenly. A bicyclist will never be able to follow car codes because of Newton’s Law of Motion, and I will repeat this every day the entire time I live here. How many times have you suddenly braked while driving and you were pushed into your front wheel without your control? I do not have a front wheel to save me, I only have the pavement.

If I’m clearly riding straight on the bicyclist’s lane towards you, I will not swerve to the right to get hit by the taxi you are trying to summon. My $400 bicycle and life are more important than whether or not you’ll get this next taxi by standing in the street. One woman was literally standing there and staring at me and wouldn’t move until I yelled at her to do so.